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Jeff Dunham- Ackmend the Terrorist SkeletonA father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to “Dad.”
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter………..
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, WTF? | Tagged: , kids will drive parents to drinking, parents worst nightmare, stupid kids, stupid parents, why parents drink | Leave a Comment »
1. Answer by making some weird animal noise
2. When they ask for some one say, “Oh, I’m sorry, they’re dead.”
3. Say,”Do you smell something?”
4. Crank up the music and leave the phone off the hook.
5. Say with some funny accent, ” I’m sorry you’ve got the wrong number.”
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: , 20 ways to annoy a telemarketer, have fun with a telemarketer, phone fun, piss off a telemarketer. stop those pesty telemarketing | 1 Comment »
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep-Bip-Bip-Beeep-Bip…”
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking [...]
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: , 101 to Annoy People, freak people out, outrageous annoyance, things you can say and do | Leave a Comment »
Yo mama is so stupid, she went to a casino, played the ATM and still lost all her money!
Yo mama’s so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please.”
Yo mama is so fat, [...]
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: Yo mama! | Leave a Comment »
Filed under: WTF? | Tagged: , How women were made, outrageous creation, xXx rated | Leave a Comment »
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: , questions that confuse manking, stupidd questions people ask, stupip questions that can't be answered, unanswered questions | Leave a Comment »
I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won’t fix that.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
We don’t keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can’t feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid Quotes, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: against the redneck's laws, against the redneck-grain, Rednecks, what a redneck will never say, WTF? | Leave a Comment »
A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Hello, could you give me condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!”
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out. He returns and says, “Give me another [...]
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: Condom, getting lucky...not! WTF?, Lord, Oh, the boy and the condom, the pharmacist and the condom | Leave a Comment »
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work ina dark area with poor ventilation.
* I work in an [...]
Filed under: From the Desk, On a Serious Side, Outrageous, WTF? | Tagged: , I, the penis, The penis request and the management's answer | Leave a Comment »
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% [...]
Filed under: From the Desk, Outrageous, Stupid Quotes, Stupid people, WTF? | Tagged: , can't avoid the shit that happens, get real, laws that are inevitiable, Murphy's law(s), rules that happen, shit happens, you get screwed | Leave a Comment »
You Did What? Buzz Tracker Million and One Questions Brainlessworld
